Significance of a Little Girl

Biblical commentary after commentary on Mark 5:21 - 43, focuses on Jesus’ healing of the woman and on the fact that the little girl’s father, Jairus, was a leader in the synagogue.  Both of these are critical messages for us to comprehend and reflect.  However, while the scholars'  attention goes to the two adults in this pericope, what is the greatest miracle?  Raising a young girl. 

In the biblical cultural context children were seen by Greco Roman culture as lowly yet Jesus takes time away from adults for a dying child. In our culture of soccer schedules, cellphones and text-messaging, children often feel insignificant.  A teacher commented to me, “It breaks my heart when children wait all day to see their mom or dad and the parent arrives and takes the child while chatting to another on the cellphone.”

Keith White challenges our understanding:  White acknowledges the contributions of child developmental theorists in outlining typical patterns and activities as children form.  However, he invites a fundamental mind shift by suggesting development is fueled by a desire to love and be loved which is embodied in security, boundaries, significance, community and creativity (White 2008).[i]

  

My experience with children suggests one of the reasons children fall so easily in love with Jesus is He embraces their significance. “There can be no love, with the giving and receiving of affection, promises, tenderness and sacrifice...unless there is a genuine belief ...that “I” matter or am worth something...” (White 2008:98).  

It reminds us of the legend about the great theologian, Karl Barth:  “Once a young student asked Barth if he could sum up what was most important about his life’s work and theology in just a few words. Barth just thought for a moment and then smiled,’Yes, in the words of a song my mother used to sing me, ‘Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.’”[ii]

Sophia Cavalletti worked with Maria Montessori and the thread of child significance permeates their work[iii]:

"A little three and a half year old girl asked her father where the world came from. Her father, who is not a believer, gave her a long speech to explain that the world had not been created, and so on. After this explanation he added that some people say that everything was made by a most powerful being, whom they call, “God.” At this point the little girl started running around the room in a burst of joy, saying, “I knew what you said wasn’t true. It’s Him! It’s Him!” The grandmother was present during this. Though an atheist herself, she was the one who related this fact (to Montessori). When her father was speaking, the child felt he was betraying her in some way, but she could not defend herself because she was lacking the words. As soon as her father pronounced the word, she grasped it immediately and said, “It’s Him! It’s Him! I know what you were saying wasn’t true!” This is only one of many experiences that led me to see that there is a great religious potential in little children everywhere. In fact, it is so strong that I was forced to ask myself: Does there exist a mysterious bond uniting the young child with God?” (Cavaletti 1992:10)[iv]

 

“The Good Shepherd” is the concept of Jesus which Cavaletti taught to young children through story using wooden block props which the children can then use for their own play (Cavaletti 2002, 1992).  The Good Shepherd conveys powerfully the image, over and over throughout childhood, that Jesus perceives the significance of each child (Mt. 18:10-14;  Jn. 10:11-18).   When Jesus placed the child in the midst (Mk. 10:13-16) he spoke of the child’s significance in the Kingdom of God. 

I find children both sense their vulnerability and want to contribute to the world.  It begins with them feeling unconditionally significant to a loving Shepherd.  How do we walk alongside children and feel that significance as well?

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Reflections with Children  

Why do you sense Jesus took time out of his demands to go to the dying child?  Do you sense Jesus has time to listen to, to care for you?  What makes you sense that?  How have you learned that?  Is there a time you felt Jesus took His time to be with you?  What did it  feel like?  How did you feel before you were with Jesus and how did you feel after you sensed his help?  How does it help you understand the kind of God Jesus is?

Reflections as Adults, including as Parents

How are we significant to God?  Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves---  Would Jesus take time to have saved us?  Do we perceive ours is a life, a soul, a heart worth saving in an eternal sense?  Why or why not?  Where does that message or belief come from?  Does it need changing?  How can we change? 

Reflections as Teachers and Pastors of Children

How do we convey a child’s significance to each one?  What teaching practice or behaviors help a child feel safely significant to us?  Are there times when we feel too busy and overwhelmed with tasks to speak to the significance of each child?  How can we change that?  How do we teach children about the Good Shepherd with the love of the Good Shepherd in our hearts?

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[i] White, Keith.  2008.  The Growth of Love:  Understanding the Five Essential Elements of Child Development.  Abingdon,     U.K.:  Bible Reading Fellowship. 

[ii] Treven Wax. Kingdom People:   “Top Five Christian Theologians:  Karl Barth.”  The Gospel Coalition. Accessed 6/28/2012. Http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/trevinwax/2008/08/22/top-5-christian-theologians-karl-barth/

[iii] See also:   Montessori, Maria. 1967. The Absorbent Mind. New York: Holt, Rinehart and Winston.

“The child’s true constructive energy, a dynamic power, has remained unnoticed for thousands of years. Just as men have trodden the earth, and later tilled its surface, without thought for the immense wealth hidden in its depths, so the men of our day make progress after progress in civilized life, without noticing the treasures that lie hidden in the psychic world of infancy (Montessori 1967:5).”

[iv] Cavaletti, Sophia. 1992. The Religious Potential of the Child. Translated by P. M. Coulter and J. M. Coulter. Chicago:   Liturgy Training Publications.

______. 2002. The Religious Potential of the Child 6-12 Years. Translated by R. Rojcewicz. Chicago: Archdiocese of Chicago.  This thread of child significance is also seen in the revered Italian Reggio Emilia early childhood model and is the same theory upon which Jerome Berryman has built the Godly Play model, a developmentally appropriate spiritual formation model incorporated by many churches in the U.S.  

Child Capacity:  Human and Divine

Readings for June 24, 2012:  1 Samuel 17: (1a, 4-11, 19-23), 32-49
; Psalm 9:9-20 or 1 Samuel 17:57-18:5, 10-16; 
Psalm 133; Job 38:1-11; Psalm 107:1-3, 23-32; 2 Corinthians 6:1-13
;  Mark 4:35-41

When I broke my leg, my orthopedic surgeon asked about my doctoral research. I told him I was studying how children form compassion and he replied with a snicker, “Children compassionate?  Isn’t that an oxymoron?”  Goliath, fatefully, had a similar reaction to David, “he disdained him, for he was only a youth…”(I Sam. 17:42).  In our Western culture it seems we are so quick to dismiss the cognitive, physical and social capacity of children. 

Jean Piaget, a cognitive developmental theorist of the mid-1900’s defined children’s moral development as rule-bound, as if they were merely able to copy, to codify the rules of the adults whom they respect (Piaget 1948)[i]. But, this is much too simplistic a reading of children’s capacity.  Recent neuropsychology research has shown that as young as 12-14 months, securely attached toddlers can anticipate the goal of another person and the help that person needs to achieve their goal (Tomasello 2009;  Thompson 2006;  View the video clips of the amazing findings of Tomasello and Warneken (Warneken research) if you are not convinced from your own experience. [ii] But what about the spiritual capacity of children? Warneken Research

We must not limit our perspective of children to human capacity alone-- that was Goliath's mistake!  Child theology calls to “place a child in the midst” (Matthew 18:1-6) and wonder why God has placed David, a mere child, to achieve this victory? [iii]

What enables David, a shepherd boy, who has fought off bears and lions to protect a lamb (I Sam. 17: 34-35), to rise to the challenge for God?  The text offers these insights:

1.  Right Heart: God saw in David, (“God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance but the Lord looks at the heart” (I Sam. 16:7)) and saw a man “after His own heart” (I Sam. 13:14).  In Mark 4:

2.  Right Motivation: David wanted no heart of Saul’s army would to fail (I Sam. 17:31) from an army who “taunted, defied” God’s ways (I Sam. 17:26b).

3.  Right Spirit:  God’ Spirit “came mightily upon David” (I Sam 16: 13).  David, a child, did not do this alone; We must not glorify the child but be humbled by the child acting in the power of God’s Spirit!  “David was prospering in all his ways for the Lord was with him (I Sam 18:14).   It is not the child who holds magical powers, but the child in God’s hands who has power.  In the reading from Corinthians, Paul asks, “I speak to you as children, open wide your hearts also” (II Cor. 6:13). 

These biblical passages speak to a “both/and” view of child capacity.  Children BOTH have far more capacity than modern theories have led us to perceive AND they have limitless power when they are acting in the Spirit of God.  How does this understanding speak to us as children's teachers and pastors?  How does this understanding speak to us as adults learning to walk with God? 

Reflections with Children

What things do you do well?  In what ways do you sense your heart is pleasing to, right with God?  This story is from a different place and time: Jesus calls us to love our enemies (Matthew 5:44).  In what ways do you see people today not following God’s ways?  How might you use “love” as your weapon? Are there any ways you are not following God’s ways?  How does God use love to invite you to His ways? 

Reflections for Teachers and Pastors 

Why did God use a child in this story?  What traits of a child make him the perfect fit to convey the message?  How can we shift our thinking from seeing children as in need of our direction, our telling, our lecturing to seeing children as capacity-laden? How can we humbly walk alongside children, to observe, to listen, to reflect with them about their experiences?  How can we help them see the strength in being with God in their day-to-day lives, not just the Goliath battles?  How can we help children see the world through God’s eyes, to recognize and resolve issues through God’s ways, all within our secure protection, open invitation and guided reflection?

Reflections for Adults

In what ways is our heart right with God?  In what ways is it difficult for us to give up our own “autonomy” and walk humbly with God?  In what ways is it difficult to let God’s ways direct our paths?  Our American culture is built upon the strength of individual creativity and “know how.”  How do we hold onto that creativity and listen to God?  Killing, especially inviting a child to kill, seems antithetical to Jesus’ teachings.  How does this violent story resonate with Jesus’ teaching and our cultural views of peace today?  Where are the seeming disconnects of stories in the Old Testament and Jesus’ lifestyle of peace and compassion?  How do we reconcile the two?  In the verses in Mark, Jesus challenges the disciples to be at peace, “Why are you afraid?  Have you still no faith?”  (Mk. 4:39-40) In what ways does our faith enable us to let go of our individuality and autonomy? 

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[i] Piaget, Jean. 1948. The Moral Judgement of the Child. Translated by M. Gabain. Glencoe, IL: The Free Press.

[ii] The fields of neuro- and cultural-pychology call this capacity to take the perspective of another as “theory of mind,” meaning the child can generate a theory of what is going on in the mind of another.  Tomasello. 2009. Why We Cooperate. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.  Thompson, Ross A. 2006. The Development of the Person: Social Understanding, Relationships, Conscience, Self. In Social, Emotional and Personality Development, edited by V. E. Nancy Eisenberg. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley and Sons.

[iii] White, Keith J.  2012.  Introducing Child Theology:  Theological Foundations for Holistic Child Development.  Compassion Intl.  http://www.hcd-alliance.org.  Accessed June 1, 2012. 

Little Seeds and Big Trees...

One time he (Ryan) told someone, “People like Nelson Mandela are like big, old, oak trees and I’m like a little seed and if we get lots of water, love and sun, maybe we’ll grow up to be big, old, oak trees.” Susan Hreljac of her son, Ryan, founder of Ryan’s Well Foundation (http://www.ryanswell.ca)

And he was saying, “The kingdom of God is like a man who casts seed upon the soil;  and he goes to bed at night and gets up by day, and the seed sprouts and grows, how-he himself does not know (Mark 5:26-27 NASB).

These two quotations express the dichotomy of earthly and heavenly sources of the Kingdom of God and human development;  Both ring true within our hearts and minds though they may seem to be an “either/or”. 

Ryan Hreljac credits the role of earthly intervention:  He heard, in his first grade class at his Catholic school that children in Africa were dying from lack of safe drinking water and decided to do something about it--- now he has raised millions of dollars and built many wells and purchased well-drilling equipment in Africa to expand the work!  

Children, parents and teachers I interviewed for my research spoke eloquently, deeply and passionately that their compassion for others was, at least in part, sourced in the love and care from their own parents as did the research of the Oliners who studied rescuers of Jewish people in WWII (Oliner 1988).[i]

At the same time, some parents and the research of others also found moral exemplars referenced a sense of God’s nearness, His presence, direct experience with God as a conviction to act with compassion (Colby and Damon 1992; Farmer 1992;  Hardy, 1979).[ii] 

It is a challenge for us to hold these two dimensions in tension:  the work we do to build the Reign of God and the work of God through the Holy Spirit that occurs, often independently of our earthly efforts.  

Reflections with Children 

In what ways are family and teachers helping you understand who God is, what He is like and what it will be like when He alone reigns?  In what ways has God spoken into to your heart to teach you about who he is and what His ways are like? Have you sensed His voice inside of you?  Have you sensed Him close to you and guiding you?  Have you sense Him respond to your prayers?  How has His nearness to you made a difference?

Reflections as Adults, including as Parents

In what ways am I introducing the Kingdom of God to others?  In what ways do I see God working to introduce His ways to others?  In what ways am I embracing this tension of “both/and”-- both God’s work and my walking alongside Him as He works?  In what ways is it difficult in our culture not to want to take some of the credit?  How can I work with that? 

Reflections as Teachers/Children’s Pastors 

In what ways do I see God working in the lives of the children and families I serve?  In what ways am I building families up to see the ways God is working in the lives of their children?  In what ways am I succeeding at introducing the Reign of God to the children?  In what ways might I be taking credit for what God is doing?  In what ways am I walking with God as He works?   

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[i]  Oliner, Samuel, and Pearl Oliner. 1988. The Altruistic Personality: Rescuers of Jews in Nazi Europe. New York: Free Press.

[ii] Colby, Anne , and William Damon. 1992. Some Do Care: Contemporary Lives of Moral Commitment. New York: Free Press. Farmer, Lorelei, J. 1992. Religious experience in childhood: a study of adult perspectives on early spiritual awareness. Religious Education 87 (2):259-268.  Hardy, Alistair. 1979. The Spiritual Nature of Man: A Study of Contemporary Religious Experience. Oxford: Clarendon Press.

Your Sons Do Not Follow

“…Your sons do not follow in your ways, so…” (I Samuel 8: 5).  What a great disappointment this must have been for Samuel and for God! But, let us look at this from the apposite perspective:  What have we learned that invites a child to “follow in our ways?”  Ultimately, what invites us to follow God’s ways?  

The research I did on children forming compassion taught me that the children with whom I spoke suggested to me a couple of insights:

1. ·       These children’s development occurs through the interaction of the depth of relationships and the richness of experiences;
2. ·        These children follow role models who exemplify persistence, consistency and authenticity, justice, holiness, hope and integrity
3. ·        These children gave insights to how they learned, suggesting to me their development included interactive processes of receiving, observing, recognizing, responding and rehearsing (or reflecting with others).

We are tempted to wonder what Samuel did that led to his sons’ demise and before we are too hasty, we must consider God, also, faced rebellion in that His people sought a King to be like their neighbors (I Sam. 8:20) against His design.  But that is reflecting on the adult behavior. 

Instead, let us place, as Jesus did, “a child in the midst” (Matthew 18:1-14), suggesting the child’s position or traits are necessary to seek heaven.[i]  As the children in my research reported, if we look to our relationship with God, to His authenticity, His integrity, His holiness, His justice, His hope, will we find it possible to live in His ways?  If we reflect upon our experiences with God, all we have received from God, the godly behavior we have observed in Jesus’ life, if we come to recognize through God’s eyes, if we respond as Jesus did, and if, through contemplation and prayer and community we rehearse the relationship and experience we have with God, will we find it possible to live more in His ways?

Questions to ponder with children: 

What ways of being and living do you think Samuel tried to teach his children?  Why do you think they chose not to be like their father?  In what ways do you want to be like your mother and/or father?  What makes it hard to be like them?  In what ways do you want to be like Jesus?  What makes it hard to be like Him?  What are the consequences, what happens if you don’t follow Jesus’ ways?  What makes it possible to be like Him even when it gets hard sometimes? 

Questions to ponder as adults:

In what ways do I, my friends, our community, our country still strive to be like our neighbors?  Which of those will lead us to God’s ways, which will not?  What parts of God’s way are hard for me to follow?  What parts are easier for me?  What makes it hard?  What are the consequences?  What characteristics of a child’s view might be insight for me to shift?  In what ways does contemplation, prayer, reflection, gathering with other Christians make it easier for me?

Questions to ponder as teachers/pastors: 

How do I involve parents and families in being attuned to God’s ways (reflecting) and living God’s ways (modeling) for their children to model?  In what ways am I supporting parent’s attempts to raise their children to follow God’s ways?  In what ways might I be tempted to supplant the ways of the parents?  How can I adjust that to building parents up (edification)?  

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White, Keith J.  2012.  Introducing Child Theology:  Theological Foundations for Holistic Child Development.  Compassion Intl.  http://www.hcd-alliance.org.  Accessed June 1, 2012. 

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[i] Child Theology is a movement which began in England at the beginning of this century to invite us to theological reflection with the question, “What does it mean for us today to respond to the teaching an example of Jesus when he placed a little child in the midst of his disciples so they could be encouraged to change and become like the little child in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven?”  (White 2012 p. 8).  It does not marginalize the child as the church has largely done for hundreds of years nor does it glorify the child but takes the child’s position as an entry point to reflect upon the glory of God in Christ Jesus.