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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

A Child Offers to Work with Jesus
This John 6 pericope is unique[i] to John’s gospel in that it is the child who offers his or her lunch to be the kernel that feeds the multitudes and it was the central passage to the theological perspective of my dissertation on children’s formation of compassion.[ii]  And though it is most tempting to focus on my perspectives[iii], I want to share with you the best perspective I’ve ever heard preached on this passage while in Nicaragua.

John 6:1-21
http:ocsolider.blogspot.com/2012/03/ma
Jesus went to the other side of the Sea of Galilee, also called the Sea of Tiberias. A large crowd kept following him, because they saw the signs that he was doing for the sick. Jesus went up the mountain and sat down there with his disciples. Now the Passover, the festival of the Jews, was near. When he looked up and saw a large crowd coming toward him, Jesus said to Philip, "Where are we to buy bread for these people to eat?" He said this to test him, for he himself knew what he was going to do. Philip answered him, "Six months' wages would not buy enough bread for each of them to get a little." One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, said to him, "There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish. But what are they among so many people?" Jesus said, "Make the people sit down." Now there was a great deal of grass in the place; so they sat down, about five thousand in all. Then Jesus took the loaves, and when he had given thanks, he distributed them to those who were seated; so also the fish, as much as they wanted. When they were satisfied, he told his disciples, "Gather up the fragments left over, so that nothing may be lost." So they gathered them up, and from the fragments of the five barley loaves, left by those who had eaten, they filled twelve baskets. When the people saw the sign that he had done, they began to say, "This is indeed the prophet who is to come into the world."When Jesus realized that they were about to come and take him by force to make him king, he withdrew again to the mountain by himself.  When evening came, his disciples went down to the sea, got into a boat, and started across the sea to Capernaum. It was now dark, and Jesus had not yet come to them. The sea became rough because a strong wind was blowing. When they had rowed about three or four miles, they saw Jesus walking on the sea and coming near the boat, and they were terrified. But he said to them, "It is I; do not be afraid." Then they wanted to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the land toward which they were going?


In 2002 I was blessed to participate in a short term mission trip to Nicaragua [iv]and Enrique Montenegro, the Wesleyan Assistant District Superviser for Nicaragua led a morning devotion among our group and the teachers we had come to encourage.  I was able to “hear” his point even though my Spanish is quite limited which speaks to the power of his words. 

Pastor Enrique focused first on the reaction of the two disciples:  Phillip and Andrew.  Phillip threw up his hands and said it couldn’t be done;  Andrew suggested there was at least one lunch available.  Pastor Enrique said, emphatically, “Cuál eres tu?  (Which one are you?)

The teachers at this school served children whose parents were killed or whose homes were destroyed in Hurricane Mitch in 1997.  The story of hunger had deep meaning for them.  But Pastor Enrique went further,

Are you a teacher who throws up her hands and says, "I have no books, no paper, no construction paper.  How can I be expected to teach?"  Do you listen to the teaching team from Wisconsin and say to yourself, "It’s easy for them to teach, they have everything!"  Or are you like Andrew?  Do you see an opportunity to learn to do a better job of teaching with what you have?

Pastor Enrique went on to suggest that the child is on the only one who truly works with God.   It is the child who firmly offered his “gifts” to be used by Jesus.  Pastor Enrique challenged us to think as a child, to bring our gifts in full knowledge and faith that with them God can do wonders. 

Reflections with Children and Teachers/Pastors
Ray Foxell
Have you ever felt like Phillip and wanted to give up trying to help people because the job seemed too big? 
What might have drawn the child to offer his or her lunch? 
Can you imagine yourself in this situation?  What might you have suggested?  Do you sense the people around him realized Jesus’ power?  Do you think the child might have?  If so, why? 
In what ways might God be inviting you to see as Andrew might have?
What gifts is God calling you to use to help others? 
What needs of people can you serve with what you have here and now, today? 
How have you seen God use the gifts of other people to help people in need?




[i] John’s gospel is unique in offering the child’s role in sharing a lunch.  Most commentaries ignore this element as well.  Some suggest it is insignificant because only John reports it;  This doesn’t hold to the Great Commission passage in Matthew 28:19:  As you are going, baptizing and teaching them… which is the cornerstone of evangelism.  One cannot help but wonder if the dismissal comes because children are perceived as so insignificant in our culture? 
[ii] Most scholars focus on this larger passage as the key piece of the communal worship:  Jesus is the bread of life.  This is a very important study as well as the perspective of the child. 
[iii] I cannot resist sharing that when I first discussed this passage with Sunday School class of third and fourth graders in Wisconsin, they were dumbfounded:  “Why couldn’t they just go to McDonald’s and get burgers for everyone?  They do it for firefighters here when there is a big fire!”  I get great delight over their perspective on problem-solving but you must also see within it, that at nine and ten years old, they already have bought into our cultural perspective that we can solve all the problems by our own skills.  This is the blessing and curse of American culture:  We are rich in our innovation and creativity that enables us, at our best, to address cultural diversity and concepts, such as freedom, in such amazing and unique ways.  At our worst, we struggle as a culture to perceive what Nicaraguans know:  The less they have, the more they realize it is God from whom all goodness comes, not their own doing.  If only we could do the both/and here:  Maintain creativity and recognize God  as the source!
[iv] I humbly suggest that our teaching team of four approached this mission trip with the right heart:  It was our goal first to learn:  To see with God’s eyes to understand their culture and needs and how to become better teachers for the students we serve at home.  Second, we saw ourselves there not to preach nor to direct:  We were there to listen and encourage and inspire the teachers we served to be the best teachers they could be.  We tried to walk alongside them in their work and invite them to do so with our work.  That is the essence of all good teacher training and Pastor Enrique’s messages confirmed that was our role! 

Wednesday, July 18, 2012


Being Held

This week’s lectionary readings evoke what Keith White senses is the best metaphor for attachment within children:  being held.  In order to grow and learn and form new relationships, we need a secure base from which we can emerge.  White suggests child development is fueled by a desire to love and be loved that includes security (attachment), boundaries, significance (see July xx), community and creativity.[i]

Bowlby[ii] introduced the concept of attachment among children and families several decades ago:  It is the idea that an infant comes to feel secure within the relationship with his or her parents so that she can take risks and know that if she has a problem or faces failure, she can return to her parents welcome arms.  Parents both welcome and let go, never holding children back from exploring but ready to step if only if need be to protect their child. Spiritual formation experts have referred to this as a sense of covenant within the family.[iii]  Over the years psychologists and anthropologists have tested this concept and developed rating scales to assess how “secure” infants and toddlers are and perceive that the greater degree of attachment, the more successful the child will be in eventually taking care of him or herself.  We need to be both held and let go in order to take the risks necessary to learn and grow.[iv] 

The verses in Psalm 89 best voice God’s attachment with David: 
"I have found David my servant; *
with my holy oil have I anointed him.
My hand will hold him fast *
and my arm will make him strong.
No enemy shall deceive him, *
nor any wicked man bring him down.
I will crush his foes before him *
and strike down those who hate him.
My faithfulness and love shall be with him, *
and he shall be victorious through my Name.
…He will say to me, 'You are my Father, *
my God, and the rock of my salvation.'
…I will keep my love for him for ever, *
and my covenant will stand firm for him.

I wonder if these would be good words for infant baptism or dedication?  We invite parents to hold their children fast, to love them forever, to protect them, to be the rock for the child.  We urge parents to make their children strong.

I sense the real beauty, though, of attachment or security or holding fast is the interdependence it generates.  Children feel safe to explore but they also come back to give hugs of appreciation and honor.  Children who have secure relationships with their families are comfortable honoring and valuing their values and beliefs.  God tells of this in the later verses: 

"If his children forsake my law *
and do not walk according to my judgments;
If they break my statutes *
and do not keep my commandments;
I will punish their transgressions with a rod *
and their iniquities with the lash;

But here are the powerful words of attachment, of holding:  Even if David’s children forsake God, God promises…

But I will not take my love from him, *
nor let my faithfulness prove false.
I will not break my covenant, *
nor change what has gone out of my lips.
Once for all I have sworn by my holiness: *
'I will not lie to David.
His line shall endure for ever *
and his throne as the sun before me;
It shall stand last for evermore like the moon, *
the abiding witness in the sky.' "

Herein lies the hope for adults who never experienced these kinds of secure relationships as a child:  God invites each one of us into this holding pattern with Him.  As he did with David, he will love us, teach us and welcome us home.  His love will “last forever more.”  


Reflections with Children
In what ways do you sense your parents’ love and trust for you?  In what ways do they make you feel safe?  In what ways do they protect you?  Who else protects you and helps you feel safe?  Have you ever sensed God’s love for you?  If so, what made you feel that way?  What do you know about God’s love for you?  How do your parents help you get ready to try new things?  How do you feel safe in God’s care?  Think about the image of the children crawling up into Jesus' lap.  If you could do that now, what would you talk to Jesus about?  What feelings would you have inside of you?  How could you share God’s love for you with a friend who is fearful of new things?

Reflections with Parents and Children’s Pastors and Teachers
In what ways have you experienced being held by family, by friends, by a significant adult, by your spouse, by God?  In what ways do you have that sense of a trust-filled spiritual relationship, such as a through a small group who lives life together deeply?[v] 
In what ways do you offer consistency and constancy to children in your care?  How do we make our time with children predictable and calm?  How do we build trust-filled relationships with children?



[i] White, Keith.  2008.  The Growth of Love:  Understanding the Five Essential Elements of Child Development.  Abingdon,     U.K.:  Bible Reading Fellowship
[ii] Bowlby, John. 1969. Attachment. Edited by J. Bowlby. Vol. I, Attachment and Loss. New York: Basic Books
[iii] The researchers suggest four elements need be present in relationships that help children grow:  Covenant, grace, empowerment and intimacy.  Covenant implies unconditional commitment, reliability, trust, history.   Grace is the merciful manner in which conflict, hardship, misfortune, mistakes, missteps are resolved as opposed to law, shaming, or public humiliation. Empowerment involves adults using their power for the child to use resources for the person in need rather than to exploit or compete. Intimacy, with trust and a sense of worth, enables us to know and be known, essential to nurture a child. The mature Christian relates the biblical basis of these components to the trinity, as well as between God and humanity and the church among the world. It is the integration of covenant, grace, empowerment and intimacy that lead to an interdependence and within each soul, a transformation to the best each can be (Balswick, King and Reimer  2005:51).  Balswick, Jack O., Pamela Ebstyne King, and Kevin S. Reimer. 2005. The Reciprocating Self: Human Development in Theological Perspective. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

[iv] Before I spent my first summer as a camp counselor, I remember reading Summerhill by A.S. Neill in which he pointed out that it was children who did not have a secure relationship at home that felt homesickness:  Children who had secure relationships were comfortable taking risks and knowing home would be predictably the same when they returned.  Children who do not have secure relationships worry about the changes that might occur if the child is not present at home to be watchful.   I found this to be so true in my experience with children;  Those who experienced homesickness were the most fretful and needed reassurance in every new thing they were invited to try.  Those who took risks spoke about warm family relationships and activities
[v] Bill Hybels speaks about small groups as Christians who live life deeply together.  I have been blessed this week to be getting together with a group of 7 women who met for more than 5 years together once a month for a brown bag lunch and shared God’s insertion into our life experiences.  We have been apart since I moved away for work but we are prepared to pick up our conversation at the deepest level as if no time had passed.  True to women’s nature, we shared some of our deepest fears, failures and hopes in an atmosphere of security and trust and prayer.  It was life-changing for me.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Painful Role Models for Children 

Readings for this week:  2 Samuel 6: 1-5, 12b – 19; Psalm 24; Amos 7:7-15; Ephesians 1: 3 – 14; 



Those of us who work with young children and delight in their presence cannot ignore the brutally gruesome image:  the young girl [i] asks for the head of John the Baptist on a platter, no less, and presents it to her mother (Mark 6: 25-29). 

Why would God allow such a miserable image in the holy book?  Why was a child necessary?  Why

On the one hand, I believe the scholars who suggest such inappropriate images in the Bible validate its authenticity.  Certainly today, such words would not be “politically correct” and would be eliminated by the slash of an editorial pen. 

On the other hand, do these references speak to the importance of the seemingly lowly in God’s plan?  Herod and Herodias wielded the power yet it was a lowly child who enacted the evil.  Painfully, the girl’s mother used her for evil gain.  Shamefully, the father delighted in his young daughter’s dancing.

When I interviewed children for my research, they clearly turn to their parents, family members and friends of the family for role models.  We are called to contemplate prayerfully the evil role models Herod and Herodias performed for their daughter. 

Children are vulnerable and at risk in the home and in the community.  There are at least two child protection issues this raises for us:

1.  Certainly, God’s church has been shamed by the evil behavior towards children within the church revealed over recent decades in both Catholic and Protestant denominations. 
How do we build frameworks to protect children within the church from rare, though horrifying evil?

2.  We promote--- as we should--- a family ministry approach over taking children in isolation from their families to minister to them. 
How do we work with families and protect children from evil that occurs in rare circumstances such as this one?

It is so difficult and unpleasant to reflect upon pain suffered by children in our culture of prosperity.  Yet we must confront it solemnly and prayerfully.  How is God calling us to respond lovingly and protectively?

Reflections with Children:  
This conversation would be unsafe and inappropriate with children under 7 or 8 years although children may raise the issue themselves at a younger age and should get a straight, but simple response.
*  What clues suggest to you that somebody is doing something evil or wrong?  How can you tell?
*  How can we respond when people ask us to do evil things?
*  How might you have responded if you were the young girl?
*  What if the person who asks you to do evil is a family friend?
*  What if the person were a family member?
*  With whom in your family might you talk about such a thing?
*  Imagine you have a child friend who feels something is wrong or unsafe at their home in their family.  With whom might you suggest another child talk outside his or her family?


Reflections with Adults, including Children's Pastors and Teachers
*  What positive role models did you experience as a child?
*  Did you every experience any evil adults or adults who did things you had been taught were wrong?  How did you feel?  How did you respond?  With whom did you talk about it?
*  How did you learn right from wrong?
*  If children tell you something is wrong, how might you respond, even if you think it could be a fanciful story?
*  What kinds of boundaries do we set for children, at home, school, the church and community to protect them from evil?
*  What kinds of evil or wrong-doing do you think might build character and what kinds do you think would have long-term negative impacts on a child?  How do you know?  What makes you think that way?  



[i] Κορασιον.  (Korasion) is translated as a young girl, the same Greek word used in Mk 5: 42 in which the girl is identified as 12 years old;  likely indicates the onset of puberty although in many cases refers to a little girl (diminutive form)  (James Strong.  The New Strong’s Dictionary of Hebrew and Greek Words1996.  Nashville:  Thomas Nelson.   #2877 and Nida, Eugene A. and Johannes P. Louw.  1996.  Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament Based Upon Semantic Domains.  United Bible Societies.    

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Bonhoeffer on Children's Spiritual Capacity

My husband, Pete and I were listening to the audio book by Eric Metaxas on Deitrich Bonhoeffer, who is to me both one of the men of greatest Christian integrity and one of my favorite
theologians of the twentieth century.  He shared a vignette which prompted me to find the book so I could capture and share it.  It needs no further introduction or conclusion from me:
Today I encountered a completely unique case in my pastoral counseling, which I'd like to recount to you briefly and which despite its simplicity really made me think. At 11:00 a.m. there was a knock at my door and a ten-year-old boy came into my room with something I had requested from his parents. I noticed that something was amiss with the boy, who is usually cheerfulness personified. And soon it came out: he broke down in tears, completely beside himself, and I could hear only the words: "Herr Wolf ist tod" [Mr. Wolf is dead.], and then he cried and cried.
"But who is Herr Wolf?" As it turns out it is a young German shepherd dog that was sick for eight days and had just died a half-hour ago. So the boy, inconsolable, sat down on my knee and could hardly regain his composure; he told me how the dog had died and how everything is lost now. He played only with the dog, each morning the dog came to the boys bed and awakened him—and now the dog was dead. What could I say? So he talked to me about it for quite a while.
Then suddenly his wrenching crying became very quiet and he said: "But I know he's not dead at all."
"What do you mean?"
"His spirit is now in heaven, where it is happy. Once in a class a boy asked the religion teacher what heaven was like, and she said she had not been there yet; but tell me now, will I see Herr Wolf again? He's certainly in heaven."
So there I stood and was supposed to answer him yes or no. If I said, "no, we don't know" that would have meant, "no."…So I quickly made up my mind and said to him: "Look, God created human beings and also animals, and I'm sure he also loves animals. And I believe that with God it is such that all who loved each other on earth—genuinely loved each other—will remain together with God, for to love is part of God. Just how that happens though we admittedly don't know."
You should have seen the happy face on this boy; he had completely stopped crying. "So then I'll see Herr Wolf again when I am dead; then we can play together again"—in a word he was ecstatic. 
I repeated to him a couple of times that we don't really know how this happens. He however knew, and knew it definitely in thought. 
After a few minutes he said: "Today I really scolded Adam and Eve; if they had not eaten the apple, Herr Wolf would not have died." 
This whole affair was as important to the young boy as things are for us when something really bad happens. But I am almost surprised—moved by the naïveté of the piety that awakens at such a moment in an otherwise completely wild young boy who is thinking of nothing. And there I stood—I who was supposed to "know the answer"—feeling quite small next to him; and I cannot forget the confident expression he had on his face when he left.

Bonhoeffer. 2010. Eric Metaxas. Nashville: Thomas Nelson: 136-7

Thursday, July 5, 2012


When I Am Weak, I Am Strong
..but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness." So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.  2 Corinthians 12:9-10
In our culture in which success is so often defined by power, wealth, achievement, capability and consumption, these verses are puzzling, if not confounding.  If we read this from a child perspective, though, I think we gain insight.  
Children consistently recognize their limitations, their vulnerability:  I sense this is a defining trait of what anthropologists refer to as the “social group” of childhood:  a sense of shared vulnerability.  They are continuously aware adults direct this world and the power of children is finite.  
We often notice a toddler who likes to nurture a baby, how preschoolers mother toddlers or how school-agers enjoy taking care of preschoolers.  School-agers will often take instruction more easily from adolescents --- one reason we so often engage those high schoolers as small group leaders for younger children.  
This leads me to wonder:  Is it that those who have no pretense of being self-sufficient have an “easier” time of seeing God?  I have often heard children’s prayers and sensed a closeness to God that I strive to duplicate.  Is children’s capacity to see through God’s eyes, to call upon His presence so easily, in part, because they accept their vulnerability?  Do they sense God is the power over all, including over the adults in their world (Mark 6:13)?  Does this acceptance of vulnerability remove the lens of pretense from their eyes?  
To avoid romanticizing childhood, we cannot forget that children’s vulnerability can lead to them becoming victims of adult greed and malice.  We have the opportunity to be a person who serves children without the trappings of our cultural success (Mark 6:1-13) and who leads them to the hope of Christ.  
I am cleaning and tidying my home over the summer, a “chore” over which I love to languish. I came across a greeting card given to me in high school by a significant mentor that included a verse from Helen Keller, one who certainly recognized her vulnerability in this world in which capacity is so valued.  Her words inspire those of us who serve children:  
Be happy, talk happiness.  Happiness calls out responsive gladness in others.  There is enough sadness in the world without yours...Never doubt the excellence and permanence of what is yet to be...Join the great company of those who make the barren places of life fruitful with kindness...Your success and happiness lies within you...The great enduring realities are love and service...Resolve to be happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties. -Helen Keller
May we be teachers whose love points to the God of the vulnerable.   
Reflections with Children:
What do people in our community seem to value?  How do people here define success?  How do the families of your friends define success or what does it mean to them to be successful?  How will you know if you are successful?  What might it mean to God?  What do you do that pleases God?  In what ways do you rely upon God?  How does God come into your life?  What is the difference between needing God and learning to do things for yourself?  When do you need God and when can you do things for yourself-- or are they the same?  
Reflections as an Adult:  
Do you sense our culture values power, achievement, wealth, achievement, capability and consumption?  If not, what is your sense of our culture’s values?  How do you define success?  How are your needs met?  What areas of weakness point you to God?  When do we need other people?  When do we need God?  How do our need for community and God interact with our desire to be self-sufficient?  
Reflections among Children’s Teachers and Pastors:
What experiences have you had in which children have demonstrated their vulnerability?  How do we handle children’s vulnerability in ways that protect them from overindulgence?  Have you sensed children’s respect for power when they are with God?  How can we connect children to God’s power while not taking advantage of their vulnerability?